Welcome to My World!

I should probably start by introducing myself, my family, and the world I'm taking you into...and give you a warning to enter at your own risk. I try very hard to keep my sense of humor even in the face of overwhelmingly shitty circumstances, so sometimes you might find my reaction to things as, well...odd. I tend to rant when the mood strikes me. I might offend you. I hope I make you laugh (or at least chuckle) along with me as I navigate this thing called motherhood.

I'm not a "new mom". I've been at it for almost 13 years. She was easy. Was. Now we're entering those wonderfully hormonal teenage years. Four and a half years ago we added him. He's not been easy since pregnancy. I don't anticipate he'll get much easier soon. But I love them both like I love oxygen and beer. And cigarettes. And chips and salsa when I have pms. You get the idea.

I've been married for over 15 years...to the same man AND the father of my children. Pretty boring, huh? He is, sometimes. He also makes me laugh hysterically when I need it the most. And the best part is that he's given me the greatest gift of all...the ability to be at home with my children when they're little.

A little about my children in a general way. My daughter is incredibly intelligent. She is also going through that stage where being "smart" gets in the way of being popular within the group she hangs out with on a regular basis. Regularly I want to smack her up-side the head and/or tell her to pull her head out of her ass. Oh, wait. I *have* told her to pull her head out of her ass already! She is learning the lesson that parents aren't supposed to be your friend. She's not fond of it. However, she is as unique and special as I'd ever hoped to get for a daughter. At 8 she had a blue mohawk for a hairstyle. At 10 we turned her into a redhead. At 11 she went blue-black. Right now she's got the back a bright red and the front white-blonde. Her clothing choices are as unique as her hair. She is amazing.

My son doesn't like to wear clothes. Right now he's sitting, completely naked, watching cartoons. We're starting small...you need to at least put underwear on. Even that is a struggle. I put them on him. He takes them off and puts them in weird places. I once found a pair of his undies in my pantry by the cereal. He is stubborn, mouthy, sometimes destructive, and all boy. He likes his grandpa's tractors. He loves his grandma playing hide-and-seek in their giant pine tree. He's been bitten in the ass by a neighbor's dog. He's left ice cubes on my carpet and a sandwich in a drawer. He's my pride and joy.

Me? I sometimes fear for my sanity but have learned over the years that motherhood is not for wimps and whatever we don't let beat us will make us stronger in the end! Welcome to my world!